


Waiting (On a Fairytale Ending)

by maudlinnostalgia



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Pining, and I did, and now she hates me, i told my sister i would write an office fic for her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 13:46:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14137257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maudlinnostalgia/pseuds/maudlinnostalgia
Summary: She’d known, for a long time, longer than she would ever admit to knowing, that he was in love with her. She knew it the moment he’d brought her the yogurt cup from the small office refrigerator and said, “This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed-berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired.”





	Waiting (On a Fairytale Ending)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my sister who probably hates me for this](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+sister+who+probably+hates+me+for+this).



She hadn’t seen Jim in three years. Not ever since he’d taken the leap from Scranton to New York and accepted the offer of a promotion from David. She’d known, for a long time, longer than she would ever admit to knowing, that he was in love with her. She knew it the moment he’d brought her the yogurt cup from the small office refrigerator and said, “ This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed-berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired.”

She’d known he’d loved her when he made his way to her desk every day, at least twenty times a day. There was never a moment when Jim wasn’t at her desk when he wasn’t busy. It was like gravity was pulling them towards each other, and the universe was screaming at them to do what everyone knew they were destined to do. Be together. 

She had known, or thought she’d known at least, exactly how much he’d loved her when she’d started planning for the wedding she knew was never going to come to fruition. She’d waited ten years for a real proposal, and her “soon to be” marriage still felt like a sham. Like playing house with a neighborhood boy who had no interest, but stuck around anyway because there were no other interesting toys around. But she had known, the minute the words, “I’m thinking of going to Australia,” had left his mouth, that he was leaving and he wasn’t coming back. He wasn’t going to the wedding, and he wasn’t going to stick around to see the planning. 

Looking back on it, she didn’t blame him. 

He had to have known, somewhere deep down, that she was just as interested as he was. And if the positions had been reversed, had Jim been engaged to someone he didn’t really love, and Pam had felt a whole barrage of feelings for him as he clearly did for her, she would have told him. She would have.

Except, it did happen. And the roles were reversed. And Jim was gone. And had been for three years. 

When he’d returned the first time, after the whole “casino night catastrophe,” as she dubbed it, she’d been so excited she almost leapt into his arms the minute he walked in. Almost spilled her true thoughts and feelings all over the floor and laid herself out bare for everyone to see. She  _ loved  _ Jim Halpert, and she didn’t care who knew. 

Only, she did care. Because a girl walked in right behind him, and Pam knew. She knew that she had missed her chance. Her one shot at happiness. Her spot beside the only man who had ever given her an ounce of joy, and the person who she knew was meant to be her soulmate, was filled. 

Karen was pretty, sure, even Pam could admit that. And she carried herself in a respectable way. She did her job well, and she didn’t put up with bullshit, and Pam could appreciate that.

But she still hated her. And she didn’t mean to, she really didn’t. Pamela Beesly didn’t  _ hate  _ anyone. But every time she saw them stuffed together in a corner, or had to listen to their inane flirting, she felt the anger and regret inside her grow even more. 

But even then she knew. She knew that Jim wasn’t over her. Every now and then she’d catch him staring, as if he was looking at her, but not really  _ at  _ her. More like through her. Like he was trying to see the deepest parts of her brain and decipher exactly what it was she was thinking about. 

She would have told him, had he asked, that she was thinking about him. Always about him. 

Karen knew, too. That was pretty obvious, the way she would catch them in the middle of a moment and insert herself where she didn’t belong. Pam couldn’t be mad, it wasn’t her place to be mad. Karen was Jim’s and Jim was Karen’s. That’s how it was, and how he was letting it be. 

After the whole fiasco at the beach, everything for Pam got ten times worse. Not only did Karen feel the need to increase the amount of times she and Jim would make out in the parking lot after work, but she also felt the need to constantly place herself on the edge of Jim’s desk, the way Pam used to. She’d look Pam in the eye as she asked Jim if he was ready to spend the night back at her place.

Anger bubbled inside Pam. The urge to stake her claim and let Karen know that Jim was hers and had been hers and that  _ he  _ loved  _ her _ and  _ not  _ Karen. Only Jim wasn’t hers, and Pam had no right. 

But for as bad as it got, Pam wouldn’t trade her confession for anything. She felt free, after the firewalk, and after she told him exactly how much he’d meant to her. She finally felt like she was making a change in her life. Even if it never amounted to anything, she was no longer a coward who hid behind the ruse of a happy engagement and a quiet life. 

It  _ didn’t  _ amount to anything, as it turned out. Jim had taken her confession in stride, something she wasn’t expecting, but should have seen coming. He and Karen were good. They would stay good. 

When they both left for New York, and she knew he wasn’t coming back, she let herself go. She cried, and everyone in the office, even Dwight, had some words of wisdom or condolence for her. They all told her they always thought they would have made a nice couple, even if they annoyed everyone with their constant “will they won’t they” scenario. 

They probably would have made a nice couple, if only she’d accepted what Jim had been offering. 

But there was no use dwelling, and she wasn’t going to let herself be miserable. She allowed herself a week to collect, and then she was back to being Pam. And everyone seemed to let her do it. 

Over the next three years, she went on a few dates, each of them ending the same way the one before had. Her in her pajamas with a pint of ice cream by nine thirty. Everyone always told her she was a prude, but she didn’t mind. 

She’d rather be alone than with someone who wasn’t him. 

It felt like an eternity before he’d showed up again. She’d only just registered that the door was opening when she looked up to greet the person coming in with a smile and a “Welcome to Dunder Mifflin, what can I help you with?”  

It was like getting lost without a compass. 

Silence passed throughout the entire office before Jim finally broke his stare and cleared his throat, “Hey, guys.”

Everyone nodded in response, and turned their attention to Pam, who was still sitting stunned at her desk. 

He made his way to her slowly, and she felt like the world was closing in on her. In a way it was. The world, her world, was standing right there, right in front of her. And she couldn’t even touch it. 

“Hey, Beesly.” He spoke quietly, but it made no difference because the entire office was silent, holding a breath to see if Pam would break down or take it in stride, “Is Michael in?”

The air she’d been holding was released for her lungs and she felt herself deflate. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting. He was working for corporate, of course he only wanted to speak to Michael. 

Except if she had been paying enough attention, she would have known that Michael had no appointments, and David had called earlier to say that he was well aware that everything in their branch was going better than almost any of the other branches.

“I-in his office.” Her volume matched his, and you could have cut through the air with a knife given the amount of tension they were emanating. 

“Thank you, Pam.”

He looked great in a suit. She’d known he would. 

And there was no ring on his finger. 

She let out a breath she didn’t even know she’d been holding. She didn’t know if he was still with Karen or if he’d moved on to someone else. He wasn’t really the type, but he  _ had  _ been in New York. A lot could have changed about him. His hair was definitely different. 

But there was no ring on his finger, and that’s what mattered most to her. 

The minute the door behind him closed, the office was up and running again. Chatter about how he hadn’t been around for years and then suddenly comes strolling in with a “hey guys” was a big subject, but a bigger one was how they thought Pam was handling it. 

They did the best they could to talk quietly, and honestly she was barely even aware of what they were saying with her own heartbeat and blood rushing to her ears. 

All she could think about was  _ Jim.  _ Jim was in the office. Jim was back, and he was in the office, and she was sitting there, feeling dumb and probably looking exactly how she felt. Jim was back, and she had no idea if he was even the same Jim or not. 

It felt like an eternity before the door to Michael’s office opened again, and she forced her eyes to the men coming out of it. Michael’s hand was on Jim’s shoulder, cupped like a proud father. 

“Guys! Guess who’s back!” As if they hadn’t all seen him walk in. As if he hadn’t ignored them for the last three years. 

As if he didn’t break Pam’s heart and leave her to clean up the shattered pieces. 

“Aren’t we proud of our corporate boy, Jimbo? Give him a round of applause everybody!” Accompanied with that same Michael laugh and idiotic smile that he’d been wearing around for the last twenty years. 

When no one followed suit with his applause, Michael turned to face everyone, “What is up with you guys? Aren’t you excited that Jim is back? Show him a little love!” He turned to Pam and she knew what was coming before it even came and it seemed everyone else did too, “Come on, Pam! You should be the most excited to see him after that week you spent whining about missing him.” Michael rolled his eyes and the office sucked in a breath. Even Kelly and Toby had emerged from the annex to see what was happening, “What did I do?”

Pam was up and out of her seat before he even finished talking. She couldn’t do it. Not with Jim standing right there, and Michael baiting her without even meaning to, and the rest of them all watching what she was going to do. It was too much, too sudden. Three years without seeing him and he’s suddenly thrown back in her headspace. Suddenly taken from her imagination and put into her reality. 

She didn’t even hear the sound of the door opening behind her through her tears. One moment she was in the stairway crying, and the next she was enveloped in a tight hug. 

She knew who it was even through the wetness in her eyes. He smelled the same as he did before, and she knew well enough what it was like to be pressed against him in an embrace. She felt bad about ruining his suit with her tears, but in that moment she wanted nothing more than to melt into his arms and stay there forever. 

But forever was a long time, and the moment had to end. The second she regained control of herself, she pushed him away, taking a step back and rubbing at her eyes with a hand. 

“Hey, Jim. Good to see you.” And she turned to make her way back to the office.

She was going to be strong. She had cried into him, but she wasn’t going to let him see it. Not if she could help it. 

But he grabbed her wrist and said her name so softly that she couldn’t help it, and she burst into tears all over again. 

If she thought her heart was broken, it was nothing compared to the look on Jim’s face. The look that said that he knew he had messed up, and he would have given anything to fix it. 

And Jim himself said about as much in the next few minutes. 

“Did you marry her?” 

“No.”

“Were you ever going to?”

“No.”

“Then why did you leave?” Pam looked up, watching his usually warm face melt into something more serious. 

“Because I _ loved  _ you _ ,  _ Pam. You must know that by now.”

“Then  _ why? _ ” She couldn’t stop the heartbreak at his use of past tense from breaking her words and cutting her throat, “ _ Why  _ would you leave if you loved me?”

Jim let her wrist go, and ran his hand down his face. She didn’t know how hard it was for him in that moment, but she knew she needed answers. She had never up and left him. He spilled his feelings and left, and then she spilled hers and he did the same thing. Why was it that, no matter what she did, the result was the same? She wanted to know. She  _ needed _ to. He owed her that much.

“I couldn’t be around you when you were with him, Pam. I loved you too much to watch you go to someone who didn’t deserve you.”

“And the second time?” Her brow furrowed, and she was suddenly glad he wasn’t holding her. This way he couldn’t feel her shaking. 

“I knew I’d never get over you if I stayed here. You know that, and I know that,” He winced, “But it was the wrong choice, and I will regret it until the day I die. You and I both know that, too.”

She wilted. Why was it always her fault, somehow? “Why are you here, Jim? It’s been three years,” he leaned against the wall and considered her as she spoke, “and you’ve never had business here. Why now?”

“Because I know I made a mistake.”

Her breath caught.

“I know I made a mistake, and I want to fix it.”

They both knew what he was talking about, but she needed to hear it, in actual words, from his mouth. She wanted to see the words form and fall from his lips as he spoke. She needed to hear him say the words she so desperately wanted to hear from him. 

“I thought you left to get over me?” Her words came out in a whisper, quiet and hopeful. 

“We both know I could never do that, either.”

“Why are you here, Jim?” She repeated, anticipation gripping at her insides as she stood before him.  

“Because, Beesly,” He took a step forward and she found that she was rooted to her spot, mesmerized by the words he was speaking, “I love you.” 

Each word was punctuated by a small step forward until they were in each other’s spaces again, breathing the same air in and out, and only a mere few centimeters from each other. 

“I’m sick of spending every waking moment not being near you, and every unconscious one without you in my arms.”

He bent at the same time she surged forward, and when their lips met it felt like magic to Pam. Like a fairytale where the two characters finally get to live happily ever after. That’s what she would tell their kids. Later, when they’d ask how mommy and daddy met and Pam would tell them how the road to each other was like hell and back. But they had made it, and they would keep making it. No matter what hurdles were thrown at them, and what big gestures either of them made, they loved each other as much as they had on the first day when Jim had come up to her desk and said, “There’s no reason for me to know this, but -”

Pam smiled into their kiss, and she felt Jim smiling back. They had made it. And he was back, exactly where he was supposed to be.

**Author's Note:**

> I finished The Office months ago, and I watch reruns religiously. This came from watching about six episodes of season three on Comedy Central yesterday.


End file.
